Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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