im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
