I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
