i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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