it's too hot outside to masturbate.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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