he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
