you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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