What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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