She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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