do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
