It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
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I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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