these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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