Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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