talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
