This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
