Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
