what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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