We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
