Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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