hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
