Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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