we're blogging at a bar
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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