i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
