Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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