remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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