I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Pooping to opera.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
