Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
