Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
