Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
