So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
