Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
