I can feel you judging me through the phone.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
