He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish my penis had an off switch
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Actions speak louder than pants.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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