I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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