her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
