Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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