Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
