i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Is Oprah even human
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
