You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize