I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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