So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
