So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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