I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
