He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
