quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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