Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
