break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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