rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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