oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think your dad took our porno
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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