i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
