So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
