she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
