Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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