I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
