If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
