I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
