There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize