If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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