ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
