my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
