Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
