it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
