im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
