My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
