The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
