No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
