im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
