I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
