i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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