walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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