i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize